Friday, September 2, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Conversation between T and Jake
T: Daddy, we need to talk.
J:About what?
T: Why are you giving me another brother (in an almost shrill voice) Who is going to play barbies with me?
J: Maybe B will play barbies with you.
T: NO! I wanted a sister to play barbies with and to sleep in my room.
Clearly she's not super thrilled about adding another boy to the mix :) I think she'll change her mind once she realizes how much stuff she'll get by being the only girl :D
J:About what?
T: Why are you giving me another brother (in an almost shrill voice) Who is going to play barbies with me?
J: Maybe B will play barbies with you.
T: NO! I wanted a sister to play barbies with and to sleep in my room.
Clearly she's not super thrilled about adding another boy to the mix :) I think she'll change her mind once she realizes how much stuff she'll get by being the only girl :D
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Pretty much the cutest kids ever :)
This is from our most recent trip to Colorado. We love going down there because Grandma S and Grandpa D are always so wonderful to us, not to mention they are freaking awesome! We had a great time and can't wait to go back again for another visit!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
From the mouth of a Prophet.
(It's long winded so be warned)
Our Prophet doesn't only speak to members of the Latter Day Saint faith, but he is the Prophet of the world. His counsel and advice is for all, and at some point or another in your life, WILL APPLY TO YOU.
President Monson had this to say regarding marriage : "...for one reason or another, love dies. It may be the result of financial problems, lack of communication, uncontrolled tempers, interference from in-laws, entanglement in sin. There are any number of reasons. In most cases divorce does not have to be the outcome."
I believe it does end up being the outcome because of selfishness, pride, laziness, and unwillingness to listen to our leaders. Maybe it's because many will justify or make excuses of why their situation is so much more awful than anyone can imagine and the only answer is to abandon post. NONSENSE! The guilty taketh the truth to be hard. It's because a full effort hasn't been put in. One or both spouses will cleave unto other things, like their "single life" or the opinons of their friends and parents. Their addictions, their own selfish desires. Have these people really put in a full effort of being a good partner and parent? Often the answer is "no" and if so, why is it that these same people whine and complain about how horrible their marriage is and there is never any improvement and the only way to fix things is with a divorce. Why do they expect a reward without the work? You can't expect a leaky roof to fix itself. Do you think improvement is automatic? Or one sided? Do you think your marriage is the first of its kind? Do you feel that you are more enlightened and more spiritual then the Prophet himself? Yes we are all entitled to our own revelation, however, if contradicts what our Prophets and apostles have said consistently, maybe you should consider WHAT SPIRIT YOU'RE LISTENING TO. Every one feels like the grass will be greener on the other side. Or that their life will be less complicated. Or that if they just find a different partner all will be well. Here are what some of our Prophets and apostles have said on the subject:
"Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; ...it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price." Spencer W. Kimball
"All should desire and seriously work to secure a marriage for eternity." Dallin H. Oaks (notice he didn't say - sit around and hope happiness just comes a long)
"If you are married, are you faithful to your spouse mentally as well as physically? Are you loyal to your marriage covenants by never engaging in conversation with another person that you wouldn’t want your spouse to overhear? Are you kind and supportive of your spouse and children?" Richard G. Scott
"All things are possible to the Lord, and He keeps the promises He inspires His prophets to declare. Eternity is a long time. Have faith in those promises and live to be worthy of them so that in His time the Lord can make them come true in your life." Richard G. Scott
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.” (Deseret News, 12 June 1973, p. A4.)
And Finally President Hinckley had this to say (sorry his is soooo good that I had just put all of it in) :
"among the greatest of tragedies, and I think the most common, is divorce. It has become as a great scourge...Millions of single parents are struggling to rear families, carrying burdens beyond their capacity to handle. Millions of children are growing up in single family homes from which the parent, usually the mother, out of necessity, is absent much of the time. (Divorce not only leaves children without a father in the home, but often without the mother in the home because she is out of the home because of necessity) These “latch-key children” return from school each day to empty houses, where, in many cases, there is only the refuge of the television set. Not only are the children suffering, but all of society is paying a frightful price for their circumstances. As they grow older, the incidence of drugs increases among them. Vast numbers turn to criminal behavior. Inadequately trained, many are unemployed. Some aimlessly squander their lives. Millions have become the “flotsam and jetsam” of society, washed upon the shore by oceans of neglect, abuse, and frustration, helpless to correct their circumstances...The costs are enormous, almost beyond comprehension... in their background a broken home where a father abandoned his family and a mother struggled in vain to handle the overpowering odds against her.
Why all of these broken homes? There is no simple answer. I acknowledge that. But it appears to me that there are some obvious reasons that account for a very high percentage of these problems. I say this out of experience in dealing with such tragedies. I find selfishness to be the root cause of most of it.Selfishness is at the root of adultery, the breaking of solemn and sacred covenants to satisfy selfish lust. Selfishness is the antithesis of love. It is a cankering expression of greed. It destroys self-discipline. It obliterates loyalty. It tears up sacred covenants. It afflicts both men and women.
Too many who come to marriage have been coddled and spoiled and somehow led to feel that everything must be precisely right at all times, that life is a series of entertainments, that appetites are to be satisfied without regard to principle. How tragic the consequences of such hollow and unreasonable thinking! Bitter consequences are seen in the lives of children who need but do not have a father who loves them, teaches them, protects them, and leads them along the path of life by example and precept.
(He then relays a story of a young single mother of 7 children who's husband divorced her - She went across the street to deliver something to her neighbors and in her own words here is what she said, I cried and wept when I read this, because I can relate to the feelings)
“As I turned around to walk back home, I could see my house lighted up. I could hear echoes of my children as I had walked out of the door a few minutes earlier: ‘Mom, what are we going to have for dinner?’ ‘Can you take me to the library?’ ‘I have to get some poster paper tonight.’ Tired and weary, I looked at that house and saw the light on in each of the rooms. I thought of all of those children who were home waiting for me to come and meet their needs. My burdens felt very heavy on my shoulders. “I remember looking through tears toward the sky, and I said, ‘Oh, my Father, I just can’t do it tonight. I’m too tired. I can’t face it. I can’t go home and take care of all those children alone. Could I just come to You and stay with You for just one night? I’ll come back in the morning.’ “I didn’t really hear the words of reply, but I heard them in my mind. The answer was, ‘No, little one, you can’t come to me now. You would never wish to come back. But I can come to you.’”
President Hinckley continues:
"There is a remedy for all of this. It is not found in divorce. It is found in the gospel of the Son of God. He it was who said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:6.) The remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce. It is in repentance. It is not in separation. It is in simple integrity that leads a man to square up his shoulders and meet his obligations. It is found in the Golden Rule."
There may be now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. I am not one to say that it is never justified. But I say without hesitation that this plague among us, which seems to be growing everywhere, is not of God, but rather is the work of the adversary of righteousness and peace and truth."
I am going to repeat that - a Prophet of God said that divorce is NOT OF GOD, but rather the work of the adversary. It may be one's agency this is true, but again, IT IS NOT OF GOD. I am not saying that it is never justified, but in cases where it's over things like communication, and not getting a long, tempers, and other things that have just built up - I believe that those things can be over come. Therefore if it is NOT OF GOD, then I believe that God will not direct you to do it.
"You need not be his victims. You can rise above his wiles and entreaties. Get rid of the titillating entertainment, the pornography that leads to evil desires and reprehensible activity. Wives, look upon your husbands as your precious companions and live worthy of that association. Husbands, see in your wives your most valued asset in time or eternity, each a daughter of God, a partner with whom you can walk hand in hand, through sunshine and storm, through all the perils and triumphs of life. Parents, see in your children sons and daughters of your Father in Heaven, who will hold you accountable for them. Stand together as their guardians, their protectors, their guides, their anchors."
Does any of this sound wrong or negative to you? When I read the words of our Prophets and leaders all I feel is great love and concern for the well being of God's children and a great desire for our happiness. Why is it then that people who choose not to listen somehow think that they know better. I am not saying that we should all just bah and eat straw. We do have our own personal relationships with our Father in Heaven. HOWEVER, I know that if you say you believe in the Gospel and believe that the Prophets and Apostles are the mouthpieces for God - then you do not have the luxury of picking and choosing which parts of their counsel you are going to listen to because it fits your lifestyle or is easy. We don't live parts of the Gospel - it's not some buffet we can choose from. For me personally when confusion is abounding, and I feel weak and troddened on. When there are conflicting answers and even more questions, I know that I can turn to the counsel of someone who knows more than I and I can trust that what is said is from God himself. They are not counseling people to stick it out and put a full effort into their marriages because they say to themselves "well this advice won't really work but it makes people feel all warm and fuzzy, so we'll just give it to them anyway. " NO! HOW ABSURD! HOW BLIND YOU ARE! They give this counsel because it is from God and it is RIGHT!
And I am not absolved - I have deffinitely made mistakes and my heart aches over the situation I am in. But I am fighting for something better. I believe in the words of my leaders and I really really believe that I can trump the advarsary any day no matter what his form. If that is friends, family, society, or his own imitation of the Spirit. I believe that I am more powerful then him. It is my choice to stay in my marriage and to fight for it. But I am only one side. I know that regardless of the outcome, that I have followed the correct counsel and I will be judge according to that. Let the world judge me how they will. They don't matter. And they may hurt me here and help destroy this family, but I know if I am worthy, my promised blessings will be added unto me after this life, and it will be more then what the world could have ever offered me.
Our Prophet doesn't only speak to members of the Latter Day Saint faith, but he is the Prophet of the world. His counsel and advice is for all, and at some point or another in your life, WILL APPLY TO YOU.
President Monson had this to say regarding marriage : "...for one reason or another, love dies. It may be the result of financial problems, lack of communication, uncontrolled tempers, interference from in-laws, entanglement in sin. There are any number of reasons. In most cases divorce does not have to be the outcome."
I believe it does end up being the outcome because of selfishness, pride, laziness, and unwillingness to listen to our leaders. Maybe it's because many will justify or make excuses of why their situation is so much more awful than anyone can imagine and the only answer is to abandon post. NONSENSE! The guilty taketh the truth to be hard. It's because a full effort hasn't been put in. One or both spouses will cleave unto other things, like their "single life" or the opinons of their friends and parents. Their addictions, their own selfish desires. Have these people really put in a full effort of being a good partner and parent? Often the answer is "no" and if so, why is it that these same people whine and complain about how horrible their marriage is and there is never any improvement and the only way to fix things is with a divorce. Why do they expect a reward without the work? You can't expect a leaky roof to fix itself. Do you think improvement is automatic? Or one sided? Do you think your marriage is the first of its kind? Do you feel that you are more enlightened and more spiritual then the Prophet himself? Yes we are all entitled to our own revelation, however, if contradicts what our Prophets and apostles have said consistently, maybe you should consider WHAT SPIRIT YOU'RE LISTENING TO. Every one feels like the grass will be greener on the other side. Or that their life will be less complicated. Or that if they just find a different partner all will be well. Here are what some of our Prophets and apostles have said on the subject:
"Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; ...it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price." Spencer W. Kimball
"All should desire and seriously work to secure a marriage for eternity." Dallin H. Oaks (notice he didn't say - sit around and hope happiness just comes a long)
"If you are married, are you faithful to your spouse mentally as well as physically? Are you loyal to your marriage covenants by never engaging in conversation with another person that you wouldn’t want your spouse to overhear? Are you kind and supportive of your spouse and children?" Richard G. Scott
"All things are possible to the Lord, and He keeps the promises He inspires His prophets to declare. Eternity is a long time. Have faith in those promises and live to be worthy of them so that in His time the Lord can make them come true in your life." Richard G. Scott
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.” (Deseret News, 12 June 1973, p. A4.)
And Finally President Hinckley had this to say (sorry his is soooo good that I had just put all of it in) :
"among the greatest of tragedies, and I think the most common, is divorce. It has become as a great scourge...Millions of single parents are struggling to rear families, carrying burdens beyond their capacity to handle. Millions of children are growing up in single family homes from which the parent, usually the mother, out of necessity, is absent much of the time. (Divorce not only leaves children without a father in the home, but often without the mother in the home because she is out of the home because of necessity) These “latch-key children” return from school each day to empty houses, where, in many cases, there is only the refuge of the television set. Not only are the children suffering, but all of society is paying a frightful price for their circumstances. As they grow older, the incidence of drugs increases among them. Vast numbers turn to criminal behavior. Inadequately trained, many are unemployed. Some aimlessly squander their lives. Millions have become the “flotsam and jetsam” of society, washed upon the shore by oceans of neglect, abuse, and frustration, helpless to correct their circumstances...The costs are enormous, almost beyond comprehension... in their background a broken home where a father abandoned his family and a mother struggled in vain to handle the overpowering odds against her.
Why all of these broken homes? There is no simple answer. I acknowledge that. But it appears to me that there are some obvious reasons that account for a very high percentage of these problems. I say this out of experience in dealing with such tragedies. I find selfishness to be the root cause of most of it.Selfishness is at the root of adultery, the breaking of solemn and sacred covenants to satisfy selfish lust. Selfishness is the antithesis of love. It is a cankering expression of greed. It destroys self-discipline. It obliterates loyalty. It tears up sacred covenants. It afflicts both men and women.
Too many who come to marriage have been coddled and spoiled and somehow led to feel that everything must be precisely right at all times, that life is a series of entertainments, that appetites are to be satisfied without regard to principle. How tragic the consequences of such hollow and unreasonable thinking! Bitter consequences are seen in the lives of children who need but do not have a father who loves them, teaches them, protects them, and leads them along the path of life by example and precept.
(He then relays a story of a young single mother of 7 children who's husband divorced her - She went across the street to deliver something to her neighbors and in her own words here is what she said, I cried and wept when I read this, because I can relate to the feelings)
“As I turned around to walk back home, I could see my house lighted up. I could hear echoes of my children as I had walked out of the door a few minutes earlier: ‘Mom, what are we going to have for dinner?’ ‘Can you take me to the library?’ ‘I have to get some poster paper tonight.’ Tired and weary, I looked at that house and saw the light on in each of the rooms. I thought of all of those children who were home waiting for me to come and meet their needs. My burdens felt very heavy on my shoulders. “I remember looking through tears toward the sky, and I said, ‘Oh, my Father, I just can’t do it tonight. I’m too tired. I can’t face it. I can’t go home and take care of all those children alone. Could I just come to You and stay with You for just one night? I’ll come back in the morning.’ “I didn’t really hear the words of reply, but I heard them in my mind. The answer was, ‘No, little one, you can’t come to me now. You would never wish to come back. But I can come to you.’”
President Hinckley continues:
"There is a remedy for all of this. It is not found in divorce. It is found in the gospel of the Son of God. He it was who said, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:6.) The remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce. It is in repentance. It is not in separation. It is in simple integrity that leads a man to square up his shoulders and meet his obligations. It is found in the Golden Rule."
There may be now and again a legitimate cause for divorce. I am not one to say that it is never justified. But I say without hesitation that this plague among us, which seems to be growing everywhere, is not of God, but rather is the work of the adversary of righteousness and peace and truth."
I am going to repeat that - a Prophet of God said that divorce is NOT OF GOD, but rather the work of the adversary. It may be one's agency this is true, but again, IT IS NOT OF GOD. I am not saying that it is never justified, but in cases where it's over things like communication, and not getting a long, tempers, and other things that have just built up - I believe that those things can be over come. Therefore if it is NOT OF GOD, then I believe that God will not direct you to do it.
"You need not be his victims. You can rise above his wiles and entreaties. Get rid of the titillating entertainment, the pornography that leads to evil desires and reprehensible activity. Wives, look upon your husbands as your precious companions and live worthy of that association. Husbands, see in your wives your most valued asset in time or eternity, each a daughter of God, a partner with whom you can walk hand in hand, through sunshine and storm, through all the perils and triumphs of life. Parents, see in your children sons and daughters of your Father in Heaven, who will hold you accountable for them. Stand together as their guardians, their protectors, their guides, their anchors."
Does any of this sound wrong or negative to you? When I read the words of our Prophets and leaders all I feel is great love and concern for the well being of God's children and a great desire for our happiness. Why is it then that people who choose not to listen somehow think that they know better. I am not saying that we should all just bah and eat straw. We do have our own personal relationships with our Father in Heaven. HOWEVER, I know that if you say you believe in the Gospel and believe that the Prophets and Apostles are the mouthpieces for God - then you do not have the luxury of picking and choosing which parts of their counsel you are going to listen to because it fits your lifestyle or is easy. We don't live parts of the Gospel - it's not some buffet we can choose from. For me personally when confusion is abounding, and I feel weak and troddened on. When there are conflicting answers and even more questions, I know that I can turn to the counsel of someone who knows more than I and I can trust that what is said is from God himself. They are not counseling people to stick it out and put a full effort into their marriages because they say to themselves "well this advice won't really work but it makes people feel all warm and fuzzy, so we'll just give it to them anyway. " NO! HOW ABSURD! HOW BLIND YOU ARE! They give this counsel because it is from God and it is RIGHT!
And I am not absolved - I have deffinitely made mistakes and my heart aches over the situation I am in. But I am fighting for something better. I believe in the words of my leaders and I really really believe that I can trump the advarsary any day no matter what his form. If that is friends, family, society, or his own imitation of the Spirit. I believe that I am more powerful then him. It is my choice to stay in my marriage and to fight for it. But I am only one side. I know that regardless of the outcome, that I have followed the correct counsel and I will be judge according to that. Let the world judge me how they will. They don't matter. And they may hurt me here and help destroy this family, but I know if I am worthy, my promised blessings will be added unto me after this life, and it will be more then what the world could have ever offered me.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Requirements for Motherhood?
Being a full time parent is one of the greatest blessings there is. It's hard work, long hours, few or no breaks, heartache at times- but the rewards are immeasureable!
I love my kids so much! But gosh dangit getting them here is no fun. I am not - I repeat - NOT a happy pregnant person. I don't understand why there have to be certain things involved with bringing about a human life. Aren't women already dealing with enough with the take over of our bodies, & the pain of labor and delivery. Why does the pregnancy part have to be so.... icky and unfun. Cut us some slack here!
It seems like that there are some fairly standard requirements in order to be pregnant. And in my case, they happen whether I like them or not.
Morning Sickness - this is my least favorite because mine happens whenever it feels like it. So it could be 11pm and I'm up gagging. The worst part about MS is that nothing makes it go away or feel better. Not even those expensive prescriptions. I've tried to out smart it by eating light foods that would not make one sick normally. I know it's suppose to end by the 12th week - but if this pregnancy is anything like Taryn's, I will be sick until 20 weeks.
Peeing 10 times a night - I also really really hate this one. I am already a solo parent of 3 kids. My sleep is very important to me and I get very little of it. So to have it disrupted so many times a night is hugely irritating to me. The funny part is, I wake up; lay in bed, and argue with myself about why I am not getting up - but in the end, my body always wins, and I begrudgingly have to visit my potty.
Charlie Horses - I have no clue why this happens to me, but almost from the beginning of my pregnancies, I get these. I always have to be mindful about how I am moving my body or stretching, otherwise I will be attacked by this painful symptom. I only get them while I'm preggers. And when I am done- they almost immediately disappear.
Smells - I smell everything - and I hate it.
Gas - Since you have it all the time, you have to be strategic and stealthy. So if I am awkwardly silent with a look of concentration on my face while I'm standing next to you - I would just run.
Heartburn - in my case, the only thing I ever eat during a pregnancy that gives me heartburn is sadly chocolate... WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!
Weight gain - I know that several women don't show until they are 5 or 6 months along. Not in my case. I start blowing up almost immediately. But I just look fat and pudgy. It's not until about 5 months that I start getting the cute belly and people can tell I am pregnant - before then, people are just being polite by keeping their mouth shut. But in their minds they are thinking "Ash should really lay off the M donalds - sheesh!"
With the exception of the weight gain, I am not sure what all the other symptoms add to having a healthy baby -well maybe the peeing does, we don't want our bladders to blow up now do we.
With all these "amazing" experiences that we have during our pregnancies - it's a wonder that we choose to do it more than once! I personally believe it's because the reward outweighs the "suffering" significantly. For me, I plan on this being my last rodeo. So you would think I wouldn't be complaining so much but enjoying my experience.... nah... I still hate the process. :) But I am grateful that I am able to do it. To be able to help a spirit gain it's earthly body is humbling. No matter the circumstances, I am a mother. I am grateful to have the responsibilities of these precious beings while here in mortality.
I love my kids so much! But gosh dangit getting them here is no fun. I am not - I repeat - NOT a happy pregnant person. I don't understand why there have to be certain things involved with bringing about a human life. Aren't women already dealing with enough with the take over of our bodies, & the pain of labor and delivery. Why does the pregnancy part have to be so.... icky and unfun. Cut us some slack here!
It seems like that there are some fairly standard requirements in order to be pregnant. And in my case, they happen whether I like them or not.
Morning Sickness - this is my least favorite because mine happens whenever it feels like it. So it could be 11pm and I'm up gagging. The worst part about MS is that nothing makes it go away or feel better. Not even those expensive prescriptions. I've tried to out smart it by eating light foods that would not make one sick normally. I know it's suppose to end by the 12th week - but if this pregnancy is anything like Taryn's, I will be sick until 20 weeks.
Peeing 10 times a night - I also really really hate this one. I am already a solo parent of 3 kids. My sleep is very important to me and I get very little of it. So to have it disrupted so many times a night is hugely irritating to me. The funny part is, I wake up; lay in bed, and argue with myself about why I am not getting up - but in the end, my body always wins, and I begrudgingly have to visit my potty.
Charlie Horses - I have no clue why this happens to me, but almost from the beginning of my pregnancies, I get these. I always have to be mindful about how I am moving my body or stretching, otherwise I will be attacked by this painful symptom. I only get them while I'm preggers. And when I am done- they almost immediately disappear.
Smells - I smell everything - and I hate it.
Gas - Since you have it all the time, you have to be strategic and stealthy. So if I am awkwardly silent with a look of concentration on my face while I'm standing next to you - I would just run.
Heartburn - in my case, the only thing I ever eat during a pregnancy that gives me heartburn is sadly chocolate... WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!
Weight gain - I know that several women don't show until they are 5 or 6 months along. Not in my case. I start blowing up almost immediately. But I just look fat and pudgy. It's not until about 5 months that I start getting the cute belly and people can tell I am pregnant - before then, people are just being polite by keeping their mouth shut. But in their minds they are thinking "Ash should really lay off the M donalds - sheesh!"
With the exception of the weight gain, I am not sure what all the other symptoms add to having a healthy baby -well maybe the peeing does, we don't want our bladders to blow up now do we.
With all these "amazing" experiences that we have during our pregnancies - it's a wonder that we choose to do it more than once! I personally believe it's because the reward outweighs the "suffering" significantly. For me, I plan on this being my last rodeo. So you would think I wouldn't be complaining so much but enjoying my experience.... nah... I still hate the process. :) But I am grateful that I am able to do it. To be able to help a spirit gain it's earthly body is humbling. No matter the circumstances, I am a mother. I am grateful to have the responsibilities of these precious beings while here in mortality.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." — George Bernard Shaw
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